They speak: Lydia Cacho

they had

they had

They speak is a book that compiles testimonies from men who have suffered or inflicted domestic violence or any other kind. The work was written by the journalist, human rights specialist and award-winning Mexican author Lydia Cacho. It was published by the Grijalbo publishing house in 2018. After its release —and as has happened on several occasions with titles by this writer— it was received with great fury by critics and readers.

Through They speak, Lydia Cacho generates a social debate regarding the origins of machismo and violence. But, this time from the point of view of men, people who were mistreated at the time and who, from then on, normalized aggressive behavior towards their wives, children and their environment in general. Is there a starting point to change the way of conceiving the role of men?

Synopsis of They speak

The other side of the conversation

They speak addresses a global issue: how, in our modern society, full of technology and scientific advances, we live in a world where the voices of some weigh more than those of others. In this particular case, Lydia Cacho talks about a macho environment that often silences women.

However, the author creates an interesting strategy to support her discussion: stops on the other side of the trench and asks questions of those who usually, and according to statistics, commit the crimes. It is almost strange that a text that seeks to have a conversation about the mistreatment of women is mainly carried out by men, to whom it speaks directly to try to find those dark recesses that drive them to act in certain ways.

Maybe if the roles were reversed, the talk would have been even more extravagant. Since the men would have had to sit and listen to how many of their own have been attacked.

Machismo as a social construct

In his research, Lydia Cacho does not look for guilty, but to give voice to a phenomenon that has occurred since the world ceased to be primitive to make way for great societies: machismo. Talking about how it started or who commits it the most has already been exposed in many feminist books prior to They speak, so that the perspective must change if a more effective consensus is to be reached.

In this fight, the point of view of men has been: either minimized or exaggerated. To broaden the panorama, Lydia Cacho has chosen to interview a series of men with very unequal lives. Now, there is a very important aspect in common: they have all been abused by other men in a condition of superior power. This mistreatment led them one way or another, but it marked them forever.

Structure of the work

They speak It is divided into three parts: the first one narrates the repercussions of the machismo within the family. The second focuses on the interviews and testimonials of all men who participated in the research and served as informants. The third, exposes statistical data and conclusions related to the role of the male abuser in the formation of the abused male.

In addition, the text contains explicit images that show psychological abuse, physical abuse and even murder. Likewise, there is a clear approach to how men who are forced to live in these circumstances must face the consequences thereof.

Some of them fail to break the pattern of abuse, and demonstrate a deep-rooted machismo. Others simply act in accordance with what they have learned, and others are unaware of the abuse they suffered.

Why choose the male point of view?

After the launch of They speak a problem related to the superficial reading of the work was generated. Less knowledgeable readers argued that it was not possible to write a book that narrated machismo from the perspective of men., since these are usually the perpetrators. In this regard, Lydia Cacho alleges that a child who feels protected and listened to will rarely be an abuser.

In this sense, it is essential to carry out a redesign in the traditional training of men. Only ending a pattern of abuse is it possible to end an abuser. Many people seem to forget it, but usually an abusive man is the consequence of a more terrible father figure than the first. Perhaps the most important message of They speak is that we all belong to the same oppressive system, both women and men.

About the author, Lydia Maria Cacho Ribeiro

Lydia cacho

Lydia cacho

Lydia María Cacho Ribeiro was born in 1963, in Mexico City. When she was very young, the author was involved in struggles for human rights, ideals inherited from her mother, an actively feminist psychologist. Lydia used to confront the various government institutions to obtain advances in favor of organizations aimed at the protection of children and women. That passion of hers led her to study journalism, and to specialize in civil rights.

In 2004, the writer was involved in a scandal after publishing her book The demons of Eden. This material is an investigation that presents testimonies of people who were forced to provide sexual services to very important members of the government cabinet, in addition to other effects from Mexico and other countries. The release of the title caused Cacho to have to leave his hometown for several months.

Lydia Cacho was a kidnapping victim. This event was sponsored by the same people she accused of sex trafficking in her book.. In the end, the pertinent authorities managed to demonstrate that the facts raised in the investigation were true, and the main person responsible was transferred to a prison in Arizona. To this day, Lydia continues to investigate and collaborate with institutions dedicated to human rights.

Other books by Lydia Cacho

  • Bite the heart, Bite the heart (2003);
  • The demons of Eden (2004);
  • This mouth is mine... and yours too (2007);
  • Memories of an infamy (2008);
  • With my daughter @ NO (2009);
  • Slaves of power: sex trafficking (2012);
  • Silence is ours, Arts of Mexico and the World (2013);
  • Slavery Inc, Soft Skull Press (2014);
  • Sex and love in times of crisis (2014);
  • In Search of Kayla (2015);
  • Infamy, Soft Skull Press (2016);
  • The wrath of Mexico (2016);
  • The Sorrows of Mexico, Maclehose Press (2017);
  • Cyberspies to the Rescue: In Search of Sam (2017);
  • Letters of love and rebellion (2022);
  • rebels and free (2023)

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