izindlela zothando (I-Uranus, 2010) yincwadi ebhalwe ngezandla ezimbili ngudokotela wengqondo u-Amir Levine kanye nodokotela wezengqondo uRachel Heller. Kuyimanuwali egxile ekwelapheni ukunamathela kubantu abadala kusukela kusisekelo sesayensi. Inikeza ulwazi oluwusizo kakhulu kulo mbono oqala ukusabalala phakathi kwabantu njengoba ubudlelwano buthuthuka futhi buba nzima kakhulu.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungathuthukisa kanjani izibopho zakho noma ufuna ukuqonda ukuthi hlobo luni lokunamathiselwe onakho ebuhlotsheni bakho ngokusekelwe kubuntu bakho, qiniseka ukuthi ufunda le ncwadi. Ingabe incwadi eqondile yokwazi ukuthi ukunamathela kubumisa kanjani ubudlelwano bethu.
Izindlela zothando: noma ukuthi ukunamathela kubumisa kanjani ubudlelwano bethu
ukufunda mayelana nokunamathiselwe
Siyizilwane zomphakathi, futhi izinga lobudlelwano bethu lizoba nomthelela omkhulu kubantu esiyibo, kanye nasezimpilweni zethu.. U-Levine kanye no-Heller balulaza ezinye izinkolelo-mbono ezazibanjwe mayelana nokunamathiselwe futhi baqhathanise izifundo zabo ngesisekelo sesayensi. Ukuze benze lokhu, babuyela emuva kumbono oqanjwe uJohn Bowlby, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esiyiNgisi esaphayona ithiyori yokunamathisela.
Le ncwadi, esivele isineminyaka eyishumi nantathu ubudala, ivala amathuba okuthi okunamathiselwe kubhekwe njengokuphazamiseka. Ngokuphambene nalokho, Abantu banesidingo esiphuthumayo sokusungula izibopho ezivikelekile futhi ukunamathela kuyinto enengqondo nelindelekile phakathi kwethu.. Nokho, kukhona okunamathiselwe okuthile okufiselekayo futhi okuzuzisayo, okungakhawuleli ukuzimela futhi okusenza silondoloze ubudlelwano obunempilo nabanye. Ngokunjalo, kukhona nezinye ezingaba yingozi ezingeni lobudlelwano nabanye abantu. Nakuba ngendlela ejulile nathi siyathinteka a mal ukunamathela, njengoba ukuzethemba kungalimaza kakhulu.
ukunamathela lapho esemdala
Okungangabazeki, futhi lokhu kuye kwaboniswa izifundo ezahlukene, ukuthi ukunamathela kwethu kuncike kakhulu ekunamathiselweni esikutholile siseyizingane. Ukwakheka kobuntu bethu, uhlobo lokunamathelana noma amazinga okuncika ngokomzwelo ebuntwaneni bethu kanye nohlobo lothando noma ukunakwa abazali bethu abasinika kona kunquma lokhu kunamathela kwabantu abadala ababhali abakhuluma ngakho encwadini.
Izincazelo ezisebhukwini zicacile futhi ukusiza ukuqonda umfundi osesha emakhasini akhe uhlobo lokunamathiselwe anakho kanye nomphumela wokuhlangana nomuntu onokunamathiselwe okuhlukile. Ababhali baphonse inethi kumuntu oxhumene nokukhathazeka futhi bakhiphe isexwayiso kogwema ukuziphatha abangase bahlanganyele kukho nabakhathazekile. Qaphela lokhu, ngoba, noma kunjalo, lezi zinhlobo ezimbili zokunamathisela azikuthandi ukuphila okugcwele kanye nobudlelwano obunempilo. Umuntu onokunamathela okuvikelekile kufanele futhi afunde ngokucophelela, khumbula ukuthi laba bantu banobudlelwane obungokomzwelo nabanye. Abantu ngokwencazelo bahlobene.
Izinhlobo zokunamathiselwe
Njengoba sishilo, uDkt. Amir Levine kanye nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Rachel Heller bachaza ithiyori yokunamathisela ka-John Bowlby, ehlukanise okunamathiselwe kwaba izinhlobo ezintathu:
- Yebo. Lowo onokunamathela okuvikelekile uyakwazi ukulingana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni, uyakwazi ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakhe futhi ufuna ukuxhumana nomunye umuntu ngozwela.
- Ukukhathazeka. Uzwa ubuhlungu, ungumuntu ongazithembi ohlale edinga omunye futhi ohlale esaba ukulahlwa. Uncike ngokomzwelo.
- ukugwema. Ngokuvamile ungumuntu okugwemayo ukukhuluma ngemizwa. Bangabantu ababandayo nabakude; ngokuvamile banalo mlingiswa ngoba baye bahlupheka izikhathi zokungabi nandaba kusukela ebuntwaneni.
Ukwazi okunamathiselwe okukhona, kanye nezici zobuntu kanye nemiphumela yazo ngayinye kusiza ukuqonda ubunzima obuhlobene, kanye nemizwa esihlaselayo lapho sibhekene nokungavikeleki kwethu okujulile. Akumele kukhohlwe lokho lokhu kungaqiniseki kubangelwa ukuthintana nomunye ovela emhlabeni oseduze wemizwa. Ukuqonda ukunamathela komunye nomunye kuwukuqonda wena ngokwakho, okusho ukuhlaziywa okungcono kwesimo ukuze kuhlehliswe. Ngoba yebo, kuyashiwo lokho kungenzeka ukuguqula uhlobo lwethu lokunamathiselwe.
Iziphetho
izindlela zothando Liyincwadi emayelana nokunamathelana kwabantu abadala, nakuba ukuyikhawulela ebudlelwaneni bezithandani kuzoshiya umsebenzi wamanje ngalesi sihloko ukhawulelwe kakhulu. Ngokungangabazeki, iyibhukwana elingasiza ekuboneni ubuntu bomfundi futhi lisuse ukungabaza okuthile ngendaba eseqala ukuduka kakhulu futhi okuvame ukukhulunywa ngayo ngaphandle kokwazi. Ukunamathela kwabantu abadala kunemiphumela eqondile ekunamatheleni kwasebuntwaneni (kuyisondo elibuyisela emuva) futhi le ncwadi inesisekelo sesayensi sikaJohn Bowlby. Phatha okunamathiselwe okuhlukene ukuze ukwazi ukushintsha okubi noma okulimazayo kube okunempilo nokuphephile okusenza sihlobane nabanye ngokuzethemba nothando lwethu..
Mayelana nabalobi
U-Amir Levine ungudokotela wezinzwa nodokotela wengqondo owaziwayo wakwa-Israel.. Njengamanje uphethe ukwenza izifundo zocwaningo e-Columbia University futhi usebenza no-Eric Kandel, owawina uMklomelo KaNobel Kwezokwelapha ngonyaka ka-2000. Uyilungu le-American Psychiatric Association, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry kanye I-Neuroscience Society.
U-Rachel Heller uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalo esivela e-Columbia University. futhi ubungane noDkt. Levine bubashukumisele bobabili ukuba benze le ncwadi. UHeller uzinikezele ekusebenzeni kokunamathiselwe kanye nobudlelwano nabantu abeza ehhovisi lakhe.