Toxic people: how to deal with people who complicate your life is a 2010 book published by Pocket B (Penguin random house). Is about an informative book on relationship management written by Bernardo Stamateas. It is part of a collection of manuals that describe and give guidelines to control toxicity in our lives. This is specially complemented with More toxic people: what are those who want you badly to feel good? (2014), which has another rather suggestive subtitle.
The Argentine psychologist Bernardo Stamateas displays a list of complicated characters that swarm in everyone's life, he warns us about them and gives us practical advice to put what is so difficult sometimes: limits.
Toxic people: how to deal with people who complicate your life
Getting down to business: social toxicity
Man is a social being by nature and in any field of life we are surrounded by people: family, school and university, work, friends, neighbors, partner... There are some that surprisingly fill us with energy and they make life easy for us. But surely you have met on more than one occasion with a being that sucks your energy and encouragement. For one reason or many it is difficult to walk away, putting an end to the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to learn to live together (for example, at work) and, not only that, learn to manage the way we relate to each other and establish limits that keep us from the suffering of being with the person toxic.
Bernardo Stamateas creates a picture of personalities in his book Toxic people. He describes some psychological types and empathizes with his reader who quickly finds that he is not alone in this relational and sentimental problem. Because when you relate to a couple, you must learn to manage your feelings, your limits and prevent the other person from controlling the situation. The author tries to explain the relationships we have with others and also helps to recognize those harmful links that prevent us from having a peaceful life.. Sometimes we can detach ourselves, other times we can make that relationship an opportunity if we act with emotional responsibility, and in other cases we must learn to establish what we want and what, what we are willing to deliver and the red lines or limits that cannot be crossed for no reason.
Some considerations of the book
No one said it was easy to set healthy boundaries and come out stronger without damaging your self-esteem. This book pinches the difficulty of relationships, dealing with subjects toxic and the emotional weakness that sometimes takes over us when we share the same room with that person. Likewise, it portrays these people and gives some guidelines on how to interact with them, also in those situations in which we lose control.
Nor should we forget that it is a self-help book and some of his guidelines can be a bit imprecise, as certain phrases can sound repetitive because they are typicalalthough no less true. Stamateas, however, writes clearly and some advice for daily life can be extracted. What certainly stands out from the book is the list of toxic people by types. Without delving into complex details, personalities can be useful for recognizing (or maybe recognizing yourself?) those envious, manipulative, problematic, or despot people who come and go in our lives.
The book considers the meticulous, the envious, the disqualifying, the verbal aggressive, the false, the psychopath, the mediocre, the gossip, the authoritarian boss, the neurotic, the manipulator, the proud and the complainer.
Conclusions
Toxic people It's a fairly light self-help book and a bit gimmicky from the start. Give a series of brushstrokes of the psychological types that can be of help to identify those people in your environment that complicate your life. However, it lacks deep psychological nuances, and the techniques described to keep them at bay are somewhat sketchy. Being a fairly short and fast-reading book, and which has been sold with great success, it can attract attention and be an option to integrate into the path of creating better relationships.
About the Author
Bernardo Stamateas was born in Buenos Aires in 1965. She trained in Psychology at Kennedy University and later took Sexology as a specialty. He belongs to the Argentine Society of Human Sexuality and is also a member of the Ministry of God Baptist Church, acting as a pastor in the Buenos Aires neighborhood of Caballito. He had a health space in an Argentine chain.
His disseminating and communicative capacity have led him to have great coverage beyond his native country. Likewise, his books attest a successful and recognized career in the field of health, human development and spirituality. Some of his most famous works are toxic emotions, nourishing people, Emotional calm, successful failures o autoboycott.