Umntu onombongo ogqithile intetho kunye nokuthula. Umfazi owenze isenzi ngokwenyama, efuna ukuqonda into ebisoloko ingaphezulu kwayo yonke into. Ukuthula kunye nelizwi, kwimbongi ebinomdla ococekileyo, de kwehle. Umfazi owayefuna kuphela yiya ezantsi. Yonke intshukumo, isivakalisi ngasinye, lonke igama, ngaphakathi UAlejandra Pizarnik wayekhangela intsingiselo eyeyakhe, nangona ingaphezulu kokungabalulekanga, kumhlaba owacetywayo njengefomula yento engazange ibonakale iyanelisa, kodwa intsalela yento ebalulekileyo. Imibongo njengentsingiselo yobomi. Imibongo njengoBomi.
Kuzo zonke izinto awayezithanda, u-Alejandra wawela uthando lwakhe kunye nolwe USilvina Ocampo. UAlejandra wayemthanda uSilvina ngokungafaniyo nomnye umntu. Uninzi lunokugweba ubudlelwane njengobungqingili. Ndiyicinga nje ukuba ihlambulukile, iphezulu kakhulu kunokuba imida yenkcazo yesondo inokumisela. UAlejandra wayehlala engaphaya. Kwaye njengophawu lolo thando kukuba ndiyishiya le leta, eyabhalwa ngo-1972, ibhekiswe kulowo wayesakuba ngumfazi ka-Bioy Casares. Ndiyathemba ukuba uyayonwabela kakhulu njengoko ndisenza ngalo lonke ixesha ndiyifunda kwakhona.
«BA 31/1/72
Ma tres chere,
Usuku olubuhlungu kakhulu xa ndikutsalele umnxeba ukuba ungeva nto ngaphandle kwamazwi angaqondakaliyo, angafanelekanga, avela kwizidalwa ezenziwa ngabenzi belembo phambi kwezibuko (cf. von Arnim).
Kodwa ke sithandwa sam, sukundilibala. Uyazi ukuba ndihlupheka kangakanani kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke. Mhlawumbi sobabini siyazi ukuba ndikukhangele. Nokuba kunjalo, nali ihlathi lomculo lamantombazana amabini athembekileyo: S. kunye no-A.
Ndibhalele, sithandwa. Ndifuna ukuqinisekiswa okuhle kokubakho kwakho apha, ici-bas pourtant [ezantsi apha, nangona kunjalo]. Ndiguqulela ndithandabuza, isifuba sam somzimba siyamangalisa
NgoMgqibelo, eBécquar, ndakhwela isithuthuthu ndaza ndaya kuwa. Yonke into ibuhlungu (ayizukukhathaza ukuba undichukumisile- kwaye eli asilo binzana lithethelelayo). Njengoko ndingafuni ukothusa indlu, khange ndithethe nto. Ndalala elangeni. Ndidlulile kodwa ngethamsanqa bekungekho mntu waziyo. Ndiyathanda ukukuxelela ezi ziqhubu kuba nguwe kuphela omamela mna. Nencwadi yakho? Okwam kuphume nje. Ifomathi entle. Ndiyithumela kuPosadas 1650, oya kuthi, xa ethanda uQuintana, ayidlulisele kuye phakathi kokucekiseka nokukhetha.
Ndithumele incwadana yeVenzuel nge andazi ukuba yeyiphi idigutante [engathandekiyo] (njengoko besitsho) Kodwa mabakuhlele ngeentsuku ezili-15 (...) (kodwa kwingozi enkulu)]. Owu uSylvette, ukuba ubukhona. Ewe ndingasanga isandla sakho ndilile, kodwa uyiparadesi yam elahlekileyo. Ndifumene kwakhona kwaye ndalahleka. Fuck amaGrike-amaRoma. Ndiyabuthanda ubuso bakho. Kwaye imilenze yakho kwaye, soutout (bis 10) izandla zakho ezikhokelela kwindlu yamaphupha enkumbulo, elukelwe ngaphaya kwexesha langaphambili eliyinyani.
USilvine, ubomi bam (ngokwenyani) ndibhalele uAdolfito ukuze ubuhlobo bethu bungalali. Ndizamile ukumcela ukuba akuphuze (kancinci: ama-5 okanye ama-6 amaxesha am) kwaye ndicinga ukuba uyazi ukuba ndiyakuthanda NGAPHANDLE KWENKQUBO. Ndiyamthanda kodwa wohlukile, uyazi, akunjalo? Kwaye ndiyamthanda kwaye ulunge kakhulu kwaye unesidima kwaye ulula. Kodwa ayinguwe, mon cher amour. Ndizokushiya: Ndiyafa ngumkhuhlane kwaye ndiyagodola. Ndinqwenela ukuba uhamba ze, ecaleni kwam, ufunda imibongo yakho ngokuvakalayo. Sylvette mon amour, ndiza kukubhalela kungekudala. Sylv., Ndiyazi ukuba yintoni le leta. Kodwa ndinethemba eliyimfihlakalo kuwe. Ngaphandle koko, ukufa kusondele kakhulu kum (kunqabile!) Kuyandicinezela. (…) USylvette, ayisiyo fever, yinto engapheliyo yokwazi ukuba uyamangalisa, umhle kwaye uyathandeka. Ndenzele indawo encinci kuwe, andizukuphazamisa. Kodwa ndiyakuthanda, oh ngekhe ucinge ukuba ndingcangcazela njani xa ndikhumbula izandla zakho ukuba andinakuze ndiphinde ndikuchukumise ukuba awuyithandi kuba sele uyibonile, isini "ngumntu wesithathu" ukongeza. Nangona kunjalo, andiqhubeki. Ndikuthumela iilayibrari ezi-2 ze-poemunculi meos-into ebaluleke kakhulu. Ndikumanga njengoko ndisazi isiRashiya (kunye nesiFrentshi kunye neCorsican).
Okanye andikwanga, kodwa ndiyakubulisa, ngokokuthanda kwakho, njengoko ufuna.
Ndiyangenisa. Ndihlala ndisithi hayi ngenye imini yithi ngcono ewe.
Lumka: le leta yakho peut t'en foutgre kwaye ndiza kuphendula kwi-propos des [ungabeka le leta uphakamise iesile lakho undiphendule malunga] neembovane ezinkulu.
I-Sylvette, ulula, ulunye. Mais ça il faut Ndizakumxelela: Jamais tu ne rencontreras quelqu'un comme moi -Et tu le sais (tout) (Et maintenant je pleure.
[Sylvette, nguwe wedwa, nguwe wedwa. Kodwa kufuneka kuthiwe: soze ufumane umntu onje ngam. Kwaye uyazi (yonke into). Ngoku ndiyalila]
USilvina ndiphilise, ndincede, akunakwenzeka ukuba ungcungcuthekise-)
Silvina, ndiphilise, ungandenzi ukuba ndife ngoku. "
Uyazi njani ukuba ibubuhlobo obusulungekileyo kwaye iboyisa, andazi ukuba yintoni kwaye andazi ukuba yintoni. I-AP yayiyimbongi ebalaseleyo, kodwa ikwangumntu kwaye eneengxaki ezimbalwa endleleni. Masikhathalele kwaye sigcine umsebenzi. Oku kuthandana kwembongi eqalekisiweyo kunye nendlela yayo yothando, sele yenzekile.